The Babbler #5: My Bad Or Is It Your Bad?

It’s a cold clear Christmas morning and I woke up with a few things on my mind but I just let them slip out of my head, it’s Christmas for Pete’s sake (I always wondered who Pete was and why is it always for his sake? What about for my sake? What, my sake isn’t good enough?). So I turned and kissed my sleeping girlfriend on the forehead and she made this grunt sound and face that had nothing to do with Christmas at all, so I cleaned up a little, took a shower, made something quick to eat, and then I returned back to the bedroom. I could hear that new Chipmunks movie playing as I entered the room; it pulled a smile out of me. not the movie in itself, because, unless you are a retarded tennis ball, it’s unwatchable. However, unwatchable movies aimed at kids are the best for holidays because they are put on for distractions and noise. We do not have kids. Everyone is a fan of an unwatchable movie, meaning that similar to beauty an unwatchable movie is in the eye of the beholder. And the Chipmunks’ movies found a beholder in my girlfriend and whenever she’s watching something light and fun (fun, also a word that’s similar to beauty.) she’s in a good mood. And if you are in a serious relationship (I’m talking about the deep committed I love you/ I hate you relationship.) you know how important it is when your significant other is in a good mood. I like good moods; especially after a night of arguing about something neither of us could remember, thanks to too much holiday spirit.

For the next hour or so we just sat their watching the movie and enjoying Christmas together. Enjoying a time of leisure with the one you love is what I believe to be the whole point of the holiday, only if, for a moment, we could put aside the religious and consumerist overtones everyone would see my point. The holidays are supposed to bring joy to the world, no work, a lot of food, your vice (be it drugs, food, milk, whatever) family, friends, and um . . . did I already say no work and a lot of food?

And then I sat in front of the computer to decide what I wanted to write about. I surfed the web a little before landing at one of those 1st breaking news sites and as I scroll down the page I became highly depress about having holiday joy because no one else seem like they wanted to and then I thought, I’m so cynical for one time in my life I would be positive and say ’fuck’em’ to those who choose not to enjoy Christmas or messed someone’s else’s up so I decided to cheer myself up by annoying my girlfriend by reading headlines and making wise cracks about them.

A headline read

‘House fire kills 2 adults, 3 kids in Stamford, Conn., on Christmas morning; 2 people escape’

I said

‘Never buy your kids fire crackers for Christmas.’

She said

‘That’s mean.’ with a laugh.

There were more, but I will not print them here because although in jest I have ironically sucked the joy out of Christmas the way that all of the bad articles I read did. So, I purposely choose to enjoy the rest of the day.

By New Year’s Eve (which was a very bad night and brought my relationship and life to a head, I have no idea why people use that term . . . bringing something to a head . . . Maybe it’s to avoid saying end like I did because sometimes things will be shaking up and maybe changed forever but not coming to an end but to a beginning, a new beginning. So I just answered my own question because if it came to an end I guess I would of said . . . which was a very bad night and brought my relationship to an ass or buttocks (what a great word, Buttocks. LOL)) everything in life became clear. I have always believed that We The People are our greatest enemy and not the Devil, or Gens, or Muppet Babies, or whatever you believe is the opposite of good, or God, Allah, Buddha, The Stay Puff Marshmallow man, or whomever you believe to be the higher power. Most people would look at me funny and maybe throw a Bible, or Quran, or a Playboy, or what ever book you go to for guidance (mine is an empty hardcover drawing book that I have never drawn in.) at me and call me an infidel or blasphemer. I’m not I just think most of us ruin our own life by the decisions that we make and we say it’s the devil or some unseen sprite that tempted us to do it. Well if there is a devil or gens or whatever doesn’t that mean all the horrible people through out history is innocent and that evil sprite is the one that really should be held accountable? Of course not, this is not Sci-Fi people.

All I’m really saying is that if we take blame for our actions or misdeeds or bad decisions we would have more time to work on ourselves. We could start thinking differently. No more, the devil made me do it and if so you’re a punk ass anyway allowing someone else to make you do shit (sorry, I got a little thug on y’all. I’ve been doing push ups and watching gangsters’ movie).

So the next time you feel blue about were your life has landed you, stand back and really think about what were the decisions that led you there. And if you’re still saying to yourself it’ wasn’t me than maybe it’s not your fault because we do forget that us humans are social creatures and our lives are effected by others. Or maybe it’s that evil cat that you were given for a present and it tells you to cheat on your wife or to set your boyfriend on fire. Or maybe it’s you. We just need to place blame on ourselves when we’re the blame. We need to be hard on ourselves like we are on others that have wronged us. We need to enjoy life. But your so vain, you think this song is about you. Don’t you?

 

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